Has a friend or relative asked you to be their best man? Congratulations!
Now that the news has sunk in, you may be feeling slightly nervous about the delicate matter of the speech. But don’t worry. With the right preparation, you can be sure to delight the newlyweds and entertain the guests.
1. Start making notes straight away
How often have you had a great idea but then forgotten what it was? It happens to us all. And it’s because all too often we don’t make a note at the time.
That’s why you should jot your ideas down as soon as they pop into your head. You might be getting ready for work when suddenly an anecdote springs to mind. Or you may recall an important event while watching TV.
As soon as you get the opportunity, write it down. Once you’ve got all your notes in place, the speech will practically write itself.
2. Make sure it’s the right length
Gauging the appropriate length for your speech may seem fraught. Too long, and you risk boring your audience. Too short, and you may struggle to do justice to the occasion.
So, what is the optimal length? Many commentators agree that three to five minutes is about right. But don’t be afraid to ask the bride and groom for their views. They’ll appreciate your forethought.
3. Plan the structure
Before you begin, think about the structure of your speech. This will help you to get started, and give the speech direction.
List all the points you wish to include, then put them in order. Every speech is different, but the common ingredients are as follows:
- What makes the couple special
- Their devotion to one another
- A show of gratitude to the bridesmaids and guests
- A humorous anecdote
A clear plan will guide your thinking and improve the speech.
4. Strike the right tone
Tales of the groom’s past indiscretions are a familiar theme in many a best man’s speech. And who wouldn’t want to share a moment of comedy gold with the guests?
But first ask yourself whether that blast from the past is appropriate for the occasion. If not, choose a safer topic. This is where it’s important to know your audience.
Remember that you’re there to celebrate the special day, and you won’t go far wrong.
5. Make sure your notes are adequate
How detailed do your notes need to be? For some people, a list of bullet points is enough, whereas others prefer to write out the speech word-for-word.
There isn’t a right or wrong way. And you should do whatever works for you.
But remember to address the audience. Even if you’re reading from a script, keep glancing upwards to engage with the guests.
6. Practise delivering the speech
Arguably the best way to prepare for giving a speech is to pretend you’re doing it for real. Read it out loud, perhaps to a friend or family member. They’ll be able to tell you what works well, and which bits to tweak.
Once you’ve got some feedback, make any improvements that are needed. And don’t be afraid to remove parts of the speech if they don’t feel right.
Finally, time yourself reciting it to make sure it’s the right length. You may need to make further adjustments at this point.
7. Manage your nerves
It’s normal to feel anxious before giving a speech. In fact, some people argue that it helps them to concentrate. So, how do you turn those nerves into your ally?
When you’re nervous, there’s a temptation to speak more quickly. So, try to pace your delivery, and pause where it feels natural. This will also improve the quality of the speech.
Remembering to breathe normally is important too. The NHS has some breathing exercises to reduce stress and anxiety.
Above all, enjoy the special occasion!
What works well for you when speaking in public? Share your suggestions in the space below.